THE GREAT TIME SCHLEP (Doctor Who-Primeval-Invader Zim CROSSOVER)
by Eotyrannus64
Summary: The Doctor, The ARC, Zim, and GiR get stuck in the Cretaceous era. Hilarity Ensues.


_Primeval/Invader Zim/Doctor Who? _

_THE TIME SCHLEP_

Zim was slouching on his couch, bored out of his squeedlyspooch. Zim was of short stature, with green skin, an awful hairstyle, no ears, and wore a strange outfit. "GIR! Entertain me." He shouted as he always did. Gir was a robot, often seen in his disguise of a green dog with a zipper that somehow fooled everyone. Gir came from the ceiling wearing a top hat and started cane dancing. "I've seen that a million times , Gir. Why won't Dib-Thing come and ruin something?"

Suddenly, a portal opened up and Zim and Gir stumbled through completely by accident.

"How's that leaf, Rowan?" said a Brachiosaur.

"Pretty good, Bill," said another.

The two Brachiosaurs were having a good day when they noticed a silver spark on the ground.

"HORRIBLE EARTH CREATURES! RUN GIR!" cried Zim.

"AWWW, THEY'RE SO CUUUTE!" exclaimed Gir.

"Hmm, unintelligent creatures, Rowan," said Bill the brachiosaur.

"Quite so, Bill," said Rowan, the other brachiosaur in a language that sounded like moaning to Gir and Zim.

Meanwhile, in London, the ARC team was sent out to deal with an anomaly by the river. "Alright people," said James Lester, the head of the ARC. "Let's get moving and deal with this thing before it inevitably gets out of hand."

The team, which consisted of Connor and Abby Temple, Matt Anderson, Emily Merchant, Jess Parker, and Hilary Becker filed into the pickup trucks and headed toward the anomaly site.

"Hopefully, nothing has come through yet," said Connor. He was proven wrong a moment later when a pack of dinosaurs which were about as half as tall as an average human was with sharp teeth and claws, and yellow eyes.

"Oh shit," said Matt. "They're Troodons!"

A Troodon leapt onto one of the ARC soldiers and was quickly followed by two others. As the carnivores began tearing the man limb from limb, the other ARC soldiers and members began firing their EMD guns at the creatures.

"I knew I was going to regret coming on this one," said Lester.

"Look on the bright side," said Jess. "It could be worse."

More Troodons came through the anomaly.

"Never mind," she said.

A tourist was wearing a red-colored Star Trek uniform heading towards a convention saw one of the creatures. "Good heavens!" he exclaimed, but the dinosaur grabbed him by the leg and dragged him down an alleyway.

"We're taking civilian casualties," said Becker. "There's just too many of them!"

Some of the Troodons finished devouring the remains of the first soldier they killed and we're hungry for more.

One of the soldiers was bitten and Connor remembered something about Troodon. They were venomous, and a bite could potentially make the victim delirious.

This came true a moment later when the man began firing at random things. "Shit!" screamed Lester. The remaining soldiers were brought down to the ground and were eaten by the Troodons. The crazed man began firing at the survivors.

"Through the anomaly!" said Abby.

They retreated through a moment before it closed. Back in the present, the crazed man was still firing at everything that moved before twelve of the creatures ganged up on him and tore him to bloody shreds.

There was a strange, but wonderful whooshing sound, trees blew in the prehistoric jungle, rustling and scaring its residents out. With a sudden thud a blue box appeared from thin air, the door opened and a strange man in a suit stepped out, he looked at the surroundings with a smile and adjusted his ridiculously awesome bow-tie and took a breath of the humid air.

"Let's get on with it shall we?

"Lost in time, the machine rests patiently for its awakening, not noticed by its inhabitants or by the onlookers above. What does this part of the riddle mean? Obviously it's a place of some sort, shielded by a perception filter, but this part is also supposed to say where it is."

The Doctor thought for a moment then noticed massive bananas hanging off of a tree nearby, he took one down, peeled it and ate it. As he was chewing he noticed a metal clanking off in the distance.

"Nine hundred ninety nine billion, nine hundred ninety nine million, nine hundred ninety nine thousand, nine hundred ninety seven bottles of beer on the wall! Take one down and pass it around-"

"Will….you…BE QUIET, GIR!" Zim screamed, kicking at the ground with frustration.

"OKIE DOKIE." Gir says obtrusively loudly.

"This place is EVEN MORE DISGUSTING than the city we were in previously in, I want to go BACK."

"I know how!"

"I told you to BE QUIET!"

"OKIE DOKIE."

"GRRRRR"

"Umm, Hello?" A voice asked from the distance.

"What?"

"Hello?"

"Um, Hi."

"Oh good, intelligent life, I'm The Doc-"

"WHO ARE YOU!?"

"I'm-"

"WHO ARE YOU!?"

"My name is-"

"WHO ARE YOU!?"

"I'm The Doctor, and you are?"

"I AM THE MIGHTY ZIM! And this is Gir." Zim replied, pointing at the small robot next to him.

"Hi!" Gir said shrilly.

The ARC team was not having a good day. They were stranded in the Cretaceous period and had no clue of what to do.

"Well," Jess began. "It could be-"

"Don't say it, Jess!" Lester screamed. "Remember what happened last time you said that?'

"Guys, wait!" said Connor.

There was some rustling in the bushes and all of a sudden a man came out with tattered clothes.

"Bear Grylls?" asked Emily.

"That's right, mates. Now where the hell are my camera crew and medical specialists?" he asked. "Have any of you seen them? I accidentally stumbled through this portal and now I'm in the middle of some jungle!"

"You've stumbled through an anomaly, a hole in time, and you're now in the Cretaceous period," said Connor.

"Cretaceous? You mean with dinosaurs and stuff?"

"Pretty much," said Lester.

"Well, at least I'm an expert on survival in dangerous places full of exotic wildlife!"

"What about your camera crew?" asked Matt.

"Well," said Grylls, scratching the back of his neck, "they come along, too, along with a bunch of paramedics just in case I get hurt…"

"So, basically," said Lester, "you're screwed without them."

"Pretty much."

"How lovely," Lester said, and then began examining their surroundings.

"Don't worry though, guys," said Grylls. "The sea is that way, and we can make S.O.S. signs on the beach for planes to find us."

"But humans haven't evolved yet," said Becker.

"Oh, right."

"We might as well head that way, anyway," said Jess. "It could be safer."

As they continued on, they heard more rustling.

"Oh great, who is it now?" asked Lester.

It was then that the Doctor came through, followed by Zim and Gir.

"Hello," said the Doctor. "And who might you be?"

"We're the Anomaly Research Center team. We deal with portals in time called anomalies and the creatures that come through. We got chased through to here by a pack of annoying carnivores."

"Ah, someone who has an accent that I am familiar with! I am the Doctor, and these two creatures here appear to be intelligent forms of life…"

"INTELLIGENT!" screamed Zim. "Of course I'm intelligent! You're stupid."

"Avocadoes!" said Gir.

"And you might be?" the Doctor asked, motioning toward Grylls.

"I'm Bear Grylls, famed adventurer and survivalist!"

"Adventurer?" Gir asked. "I like adventure!"

"Just remember, strange little creature, true adventures come from following your dreams," said Grylls.

Gir though for a moment, and then said, "I dunno..."

"Enough chatter," said Lester. "We need to get back to present day."

"I have a time machine," said the Doctor.

"Well do lead us to it, then," said Lester.

After twenty minutes of walking, they reached a clearing. There was nothing there. "I don't understand," said the Doctor, who was puzzled. "It was right here!"

"Well nobody could have stolen it," said Grylls. "Unless dinosaurs have learned to operate machinery."

"Look!" said Connor. "There are footprints!"

All of a sudden, the time machine reappeared and three tourists stepped out. "Damnit, Joe" said a fat one in a football jersey. "I told you that you had only set it to travel five minutes into the future!"

The skinnier one said, "Hey, hey, hey. Come on, Dennis. We're five minutes closer to when the dinosaurs become extinct."

The third one, a brown haired girl in her mid-twenties, broke up the argument. "Hey, look, guys. More people are, like, here!"

_Americans_, Lester thought to himself. _So many of them say "like" multiples times in a sentence and yet do not know what a simile is._

The Doctor shook his head and walked inside the TARDIS. Everything was dark except for a blinking orange light emitted from the center of the console.

"No, no, NO, this shouldn't be happening! Not here! Not now!"

"What's the matter, Doctor?" Connor asked.

"Out of charge," the Doctor replied.

"NOW what!?" Zim asked loudly.

"We have to look for food and water," said Grylls.

"Bananas! I saw them earlier," the Doctor said.

"COCONUTS!" Gir screamed.

"Both are good sources of potassium," said Grylls.

"Well, we can't just stand here," said Lester. "Let's get a move on!"

The group moved on, collecting some bananas and coconuts along the way. "We're a large group," said Matt. "It'll be easy for predators to pick us off one by one, if we aren't careful."

"Who said I wasn't careful!? I'm A CAREFUL PERSON." Zim yelled, inexplicably offended by the statement made by Matt.

"I wasn't talking about YOU," said Matt.

"How was I supposed to know that!?"

Matt put his hand to his forehead and sighed. "I was making a suggestion to the whole group."

"I knew that," Zim replied nonchalantly.

All of a sudden there was a rustling of leaves in the trees and crunching of leaves on the ground.

"Now who could that be?" inquired the Doctor.

"Not another bloody nature specialist!" said Lester.

The pack of Dromaeosauruses leaped out of the foliage, hissing and screeching ferociously. The group stared in awe and fear as they were approached by the reptilian monsters of their nightmares. Gir gave out a yelp and Zim's eyes twitched. The Doctor took out his sonic screwdriver and pointed it at the dinosaurs, even though he knew it would be of no use in this situation since it was a screwdriver. Screwdrivers are not weapons. Especially if they use sound to unlock stuff. The sonic screwdriver does double as a flashlight and many other things as well.

"Raptors!" Connor exclaimed with a feared look in his eyes.

Dromaeosaurus, or "Raptor" as it was often referred to by the ARC team, were known to come through anomalies. And now for a prehistory lesson! They were about the same size as a human, and were a species that was almost always confused with actual Velociraptors because of media like _Jurassic Park_ that portrayed them as being much larger than their real size, which was roughly two and a half feet tall. The ARC team referred to them as raptors for this reason, even though they knew very well that they were not Velociraptors. However, Velociraptors were related to Dromaeosaurus, and they were technically classifiable as "Raptors". Also, saying "Dromaeosaurus" over and over again got tiring, and "Raptor" was much easier to say.

The Raptors were mostly blue in color, and had feather spikes on their heads, indicating that they were males. They immediately gave chase to the fleeing humans. They dashed through the green expanse of jungle, brushing away leaves and trying not to trip over roots. The Raptors were fast, gaining on the group quickly.

The fat tourist, Dennis, lagged behind and tried to speed up, but this was futile. The Raptors got him by the feet and dragged him into some bushes, screaming and the whole time. The Raptors tore chunks of ragged flesh off of his arms and legs. One had the mercy to bite his throat and end his misery. His screams ended abruptly.

The skinny tourist, Joe, looked back. "Dennis!" he called out, but there was no reply.

"The Raptors got him," said Lester.

"No!"

"Like, I think he's dead," said the girl.

"Shut up, Pam, just shut up!" Joe said. "What the heck happened? One moment we walked through this shinny portal thing, and now we're back in the dinosaur era!"

"You traveled through an anomaly," said Becker. "It's a hole in time."

"A hole in time? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You've time traveled," said Lester. "Now stop cursing and maybe we can try and avoid another attack like that one."

"Good idea, guys," said Bear Grylls, who was munching on a banana. "But we should get to higher ground. Those dinosaurs will have a harder time trying to reach us."

"Let's go, then," snapped Joe. "Dennis sacrificed himself for us, and we should go on honoring him."

"Honoring him?" asked Lester. "He was too out of shape to catch up to us and wound up being a pack of Raptors' lunch. How is that sacrifice?"

"Well," said Joe. "They were too busy eating him to continue chasing us."

"Yes," said Lester. "But once they finish with him - and between a pack of Raptors, a kill doesn't last very long - they will come after us again."

"Which is why we need to keep moving," said Grylls.

"SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!" Zim screamed. "Only a few of you appear to be intelligent, so I suggest that we follow either them, or I. I vote for Zim."

"I vote for ME!" said Gir.

"We really must keep moving," said the Doctor.

The group continued on. They soon came upon a bay with an inlet out to the sea. The hot sun glistened off of the calm surface of the water. "If we continue around it, we can maybe reach higher ground on the mountain over there," said the Doctor.

"Sounds good to me," said Pam. They began walking down to the shore when they heard screeching from behind them.

"Not those bloody Raptors again!" said Lester.

"We'll have no choice but to swim! It's the only way we can lose them!" said Connor.

"Uh, guys, you go ahead, I'll stay back, uh and do... stuff," Zim said looking back and forth shiftily. Zim knew he would burn if he came in contact with water. His skin was composed partly of potassium metal, which explodes when in contact with water.

"Suit yourself," said Connor. The ARC team, the two remaining tourists, and the Doctor dove into the water and began swimming as fast as they could.

Zim waved at them hurriedly.

"Gir, we need to fly to safety," said Zim, once everyone was out of earshot.

"He-he," Gir said, looking at the Raptors, who were staring at them, not too far away.

"GIR, NOW!" Zim screamed.

Zim jumped onto Gir and they flew away, leaving the Raptors dumbstruck.

Out in the bay, everyone was still swimming. Connor looked up and saw a trail of smoke overhead. "What the hell is that?" he asked.

Abby looked up as well. "I have no clue."

"Guys, we have a bigger problem!" said Matt, pointing to a dark shape that was swimming toward them through the inlet. As it got closer, Connor recognized it. "Oh my God," he said. "It's a Mosasaurus!"

It was nearly fifty feet long, and had a massive head, similar in shape to that of a crocodile. It had two fins on each side of its body, and a long tail that moved back and forth, propelling the horrible creature forward at startlingly fast speeds.

"I've got this one," said Grylls, pulling out a machete that he always carried with him just in case. "Go on!"

"Is he serious?" asked Lester.

"Afraid so," said Becker.

"Hey, you!" Grylls screamed at the top of his lungs. "Over here!"

The mosasaur turned toward him and hit him head on. Grylls was in pain but he was very much alive. He was able to swim to the back of the mosasaur and stabbed at its back. The mosasaur swam away and let out a noise then spun around to face Grylls.

"Come on!" Grylls said, gritting his teeth.

The mosasaur charged at him and he jumped onto it. It's scales were slippery, Grylls tried to regain his balance and raised his machete. The mosasaur took a sharp turn and threw him off. It charged at him again and he stabbed at the neck, scarlet red blood started to flow out of the wound. The mosasaur seemed to take little notice of this and charged at Grylls again. He grabbed on to the top of its head and it became even more enraged.

He stabbed it multiple times, but it didn't seem to have much effect. The mosasaur shook him off once more, swam towards the inlet, and then turned around, bearing down on Grylls like a locomotive. There was nothing he could do. "Oh shi-" he began, but it was too late.

The mosasaur's jaws closed over him, its teeth skewering and crushing him into bloody pulp.

On the other side of the bay, the other survivors had reached land. Connor looked back and saw the red water, slowly spreading outward.

"So, I guess that answers the question of who wins in 'Man vs. Wild'," said Lester. "The answer speaks for itself."

The group stared at Lester for a moment.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"Like, we've gotta continue on guys," said Pam. They began the long hike to reach the mountain.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

There was a loud crash and a puff of dirt flew up into the air.

"I think I broke something," Zim moaned.

"LETS DO IT AGAIN!" Gir screamed giddily.

"NO, never again, Gir," Zim replied staunchly.

"Well, I think we made it to the other side." Zim said as he stood up. "Let's wait for the others to get here."

It was getting dark, the sun was setting and they could hear the chirping of what would become birds. Zim sat down and stared at a far off point. He desperately wanted to take off his contacts, but he didn't want to expose himself to any earth creature. So he continued to sit there. Despite not wanting to be found out, he extended his spider legs from his pack and climbed up a tree to get a lookout. There was a huge carnivorous dinosaur off in the distance. Zim made a note to himself not to go in that direction...

The Doctor was scanning the area with his screwdriver, checking it occasionally for the results.

"AHA!"

"What is it doctor?" Connor asked.

"This does not involve any of you, so it shouldn't be of any harm at the moment unless it's activated..."

"What is he talking about?" Lester asked.

"I don't know,"said Connor.

"I didn't catch any of your names," The Doctor said.

"Is it really important, Doctor?" asked Lester.

"Of course it is important. Everybody has an identity, without it we are nothing," said the Doctor.

"Well, I didn't catch your name, either, Doctor. Doctor who exactly?" asked Lester.

"Just... The Doctor."

"Then what was that whole thing about identity?"

"That is my identity, and I am entitled to it."

"Then so am I," said Lester. "But, who cares. I'm James Lester, and I am the head of the Anomaly Research Center, or ARC for short. This is Connor Temple, who is the tech-wiz and scientist of it all, Abby Temple, his wife and a zoologist, Matt Anderson, a scientist from the future, Emily Merchant, Matt's fiancee from the Victorian era who has traveled through many anomalies and time periods, Hilary Becker, our weapons specialist, and Jess Parker, Becker's girlfriend and manager of the anomaly detector."

"Who would name their child Doctor?" Joe sneered.

"Timelords choose what we want to be called."

"Timelord?" asked Pam

"Oh, I didn't mention I am an alien?"

"NO!" said Joe.

"Oh, sorry about that. Do you know that or little green friend is most likely also not from around here."

Everybody stared at the Doctor.

"What? Did you really think he was just a kid with a skin condition? And the green dog thing? Come on!" The Doctor said, looking surprised. "I thought you were all smart people!"

"Hey," said Connor. "That's offensive!"

"And so is your sense of humor," said Lester.

They resumed their walk and fifteen minutes later, they stumbled across Gir running around the base of a tree.

"Hey, um, Dog?" The Doctor tried to get Gir's attention.

Gir stopped running and stared at The Doctor with wide eyes.

"Yeeeees?"

"Where is your friend?"

"In the treeeee."

"Can you get him to come down?"

"Yeeeees."

"Will you get him to come down?"

Gir thought for a moment. He looked as if he was making a very hard decision. "Yeeeees."

"Thank you."

Gir gave out a high pitched squeal and Zim fell from the tree and hit the ground with a crash.

"GIR! Why would you do that!?"

"Hello?" a voice asked from the bushes.

"I know that voice! COME OUT!" Zim yelled.

"Invader Skoodge at your service."

"Skoodge? I thought you were in a black hole?"

"Yeah I was, but I'm OK now."

"Silly Skoodge, you're really awful at dying."

They didn't realize they were being watched. From the moment each group had arrived, they had been tracked and watched. Not by a dinosaur, but rather a human. He had been traveling through many anomalies since his last encounter with the ARC. He had traveled through many lands and many times. He had witnessed events in history, prehistory, and the future. He was a skilled killer, and a merciless assassin. And now he had his eyes set on a new goal, and some old friends.

His name was Patrick Quinn, and he would have his revenge.

"Well, when I woke up on a morning millions of years from now, I had no clue that I would soon be stuck in the past, meet Bear Grylls and see him devoured, and encounter three aliens," said Connor.

"You mean four," said Abby. "The Doctor is one as well."

"Right," said Connor.

The group was continuing on with their hike. Joe was still angry over Dennis's death.

"Stupid lizards," he said.

"Actually," said the Doctor. "Their not lizards. They're a special nomenclature of reptiles, and eventually branched away from them to become birds. Many of them were quite intelligent, actually."

"Whatever," said Joe.

The Doctor continued to scan the environment with his sonic screwdriver.

"What is that thing anyway?" Lester asked.

"It's my sonic screwdriver," The Doctor replied.

"Why are you holding a screwdriver in the air?"

"_Sonic _screwdriver."

"Whatever," said Lester.

"I'm scanning the environment for signs of-"

They heard a growl and froze. "Not more Raptors," said Joe.

Joe wasn't completely wrong. The creatures that burst from the trees were not Dromaeosaurus. They were roughly the same size, yet had more features similar to that of a Tyrannosaurus. They were leaner, however, and their serrated teeth and claws were menacing. The quills ran from the back of their heads down to the base of its neck and its skin was spotted.

"Eotyrannus!" said Connor.

"Wha?" asked Joe.

"Raptor-like relative of a T. rex!" Connor explained.

Joe didn't seem to listen. They all ran for the third time of the day. Joe pushed Zim to the ground.

"HEY!" screamed Zim.

But Joe kept on running, in a different direction from the group.

The theropods ran right by him, choosing to follow Joe instead. He saw the three creatures flashing by through the trees of the dense jungle. One was closing in behind him. "No!" he cried. "No!"

The creature drew nearer and nearer with each stride. "No!" One of them closed in right behind him. The Eotyrannus pounced through the air, its long claws and teeth poised to strike.

The rest of the group heard the scream through the trees as they continued running. They stopped to catch their breath. Zim caught up with the group.

"HA!"

Everybody stares at Zim.

"What? He had it coming!"

"My SIR unit, Chip, can fly everybody, one at a time."

"Gir can do that too!" said Zim.

"Nooooo," I can't," he complained.

"I guess Gir can't fly us," said Zim.

"What are you doing here?" came a voice.

"Please don't be another bloody alien," said Lester.

Danny Quinn emerged through the bushes. "Oh my God," said Abby.

"Well, another year in the past and I finally meet up with you again!" he said.

"What are you doing here?" asked Connor. "Did you stop Patrick? Last we saw you, you were running through an anomaly to catch him."

"I followed him here. Have you seen him?"

"The only people we've met were some tourists, and all but one of them has gotten eaten, Bear Grylls, and he got eaten, plus these aliens and this smart-aleck guy who calls himself the Doctor," said Lester.

"I'm an alien too," said the Doctor.

"Bear Grylls? Really?" asked Danny. "And he got eaten? By what?"

"He was wrestling with a Mosasaurus," said Connor.

"Man, that's like Steve Irwin getting killed by a sting ray. How did that happen?" asked Danny.

"This is the late Cretaceous era, if you haven't noticed," said the Doctor. "And you are?"

"Danny Quinn, and I'm searching my lunatic brother who is an expert on anomalies and could alter history if we don't stop him. He's also an expert killer, so we had better watch out for him."

"Most intriguing," said the Doctor.

"We had best be moving," said Lester. "It appears that we're falling prey to everything that has an appetite for meat around here."

They continued on, but Zim and Gir held back a little to discuss their plan.

"Gir, I think its time that we leave this group. These HORRIBLE humans are getting killed left and right."

"But, but I want a dinosaur!" said Gir.

"Nobody cares, Gir," he said. "I want to get these stupid contacts off."

"So, I see you want to betray the others."

"Who said that?" Zim asked, looking around frantically.

A man came out. "I'm Patrick Quinn," he said. "And I need your help."

"Hey," said Zim. "Aren't you that guy's brother?"

"Yes," said Patrick. "Danny is my brother, but I need your help. I need you to betray them."

"Betray them HOW?"

"I need you to let me know of their location and distract them. I will contact you where I need the distraction. Here is a walkie-talkie."

"Oooh, I like walkie-talkies!" said Gir.

Patrick just stared at him for a moment. "Yeah," he said. He turned back to Zim. "Anyways, once you distract them, you can join me."

"Are you trying to take over the Earth?" asked Zim.

"In a way," said Patrick. "First things, first, however. These people must be eliminated. I'll talk with you later." He walked off back into the jungle.

"Hey Zim!" Skoodge called. "Are you coming?"

"We had better catch up," Zim said. "But then" - he rubbed his hands together and grinned his saw-toothed mischievous grin - "the plan will go into place."

He began to laugh maniacally, but then realized they were falling way behind. Not wanting to end up like Joe, Grylls, or Dennis, he ran towards the group with Gir trailing closely behind.

The group finally reached the base of the mountain.

"Now what?" asked Lester. "Unless Doctor Magic Screwdriver here has some rope or something else of use."

"It's a sonic screwdriver," said the Doctor.

Zim heard something on his walkie-talkie and knew that it was the signal. He nodded to Gir.

"YOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Gir screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Shut that thing up," said Lester. "It's going to get us all killed."

But it was too late. There was a screech from above and they saw a Pteranodon swooping down toward them. It headed straight for Skoodge, who screamed.

Skoodge ran as fast as his legs could possibly carry him to no avail, the Pteranodon swooped down and snatched him up, the claws crushed the air out of Skoodge's lungs. Skoodge wanted so scream, but all he could do was flail his arms helplessly.

"SEE YOU LATER!" Gir yelled at Skoodge, who rolled his eyes upon hearing this.

"Who cares," Zim said. "It's gone now."

There was a roar and Zim saw the very same carnivore as he had before, thundering toward them.

"T. rex!" Matt screamed and they all began running toward the mountain. As they began to climb up the rocks, Zim realized that everything was going awfully. He needed the people to die, not climb to safety.

He also realized that Gir was not with them.

Gir was standing in front of the T. rex. "You're so cute!" he said.

"Gir!" Zim said. "Get over here!"

It was no use. The carnivore seized Gir in its jaws and threw him high up into the air. "WEEEEE!" he cried gleefully before falling back into the maw of the dinosaur, which gulped him down.

Zim ran back over to the cliff and began climbing. "Wait, humans!" he called. "It's stupid to climb the mountain. It is safer down here!"

"Suit yourself," said Connor.

Zim mumbled under his breath, and then began to climb, not wishing to incur the same fate as Gir.

The T. rex charged toward the cliff, but Zim was out of reach by that time. The survivors had climbed up onto a ledge 30 feet above the ground. The T. rex. jumped and roared, but couldn't reach them.

The ledge extended back roughly 150 feet, and there was some jungle up ahead. Zim blundered straight through the trees and caught his breath.

"You failed," said Patrick.

Zim looked up. He was right there.

"You were supposed to kill the humans, and instead you lost your two friends."

"So what?" asked Zim. "Who needs them?"

"Who needs you?" asked Patrick. "I asked for your help, thinking that you would be of use, but you are just a blundering idiot. Is this why you've never succeeded in your goals of taking over the planet?"

"Hey!" said Zim. "How DARE you speak to me that way, puny human! I will crush you and your pathetic race. You humans think you're so _smart_. You all think that you're so _technologically advanced_ and _powerful_. Your planet has reeked of putrid creatures for eons and always will until THE MIGHTY IRKEN RACE conquers yours and enslaves you like the _inferior beings_ you always were. I, Invader Zim, will take over the planet and -"

Patrick pulled out a spear gun as he was monologuing and fired a harpoon through Zim's stomach. The alien gasped.

"You were saying," said Patrick.

Zim stumbled away, impaled by the harpoon which missed any vital organs.

"HAH! Your futile human attempt at killing me was... FUTILE! MWAHAHAHA-oh!"

Over by the cliff, the some members of the ARC team and the Doctor were watching the T. rex, which was still trying to get them. "We should be safe," said the Doctor, "as long as no one falls over the edge."

"I AM IN PAIN, I AM VERY MUCH IN PAIN!"

Just then, Zim fell in, a harpoon sticking through him. He was gasping and stumbling around and finally blundered off of the second tier of cliff and fell down into the awaiting jaws of the T. Rex. The creature swallowed him whole, harpoon and all, and then belched before walking off, satisfied with its meal.

"As I said before," said the Doctor. "It's safe as long as no one falls over the edge."

Connor looked at his Anomaly Detector and saw a red blinking dot.

"Guys! There's an anomaly near here! It's at the top of the mountain!"

"Come on, lets go, there's no time to lose!" The Doctor said and started running.

The group climbed towards the top of the mountain. The sound of wind was loud in their ears as they scaled the rocky slope of the mountainside. Pam tripped up and started to fall, but the Doctor caught her on time before she hit the ground. After a treacherous climb, they finally made it to the top, where the silver portal with what looked like triangular pieces of glass encircling it.

"About bloody time," said Lester.

"Not so fast."

They spun around to see a man pointing a spear gun at them. He was aiming with the intent of killing. He had a murderous look in his eyes.

"Patrick," Danny said.

"You, shut up," he said. "I'll kill you later. Right now I'm going to deal with the rest of you after that pathetic megalomaniac alien failed to kill you."

"Look, Patrick, if you want to kill me, then just get it over with already."

"Shut up, Danny. It's not just about you anymore! It's about all of you, and time. You may have stopped me before, but I have a different plan now. And you are all standing in my way! So stand back. I have what you're looking for, Doctor... And no, you're not going to get it."

Before anyone could ask what it was that he had, Patrick said, "That anomaly leads back to the present, but none of you are coming with me. Have fun being the Flintstones."

"Patrick, listen to me, that object is of very great importance, your life, EVERYONE ON EARTH'S life could be at stake here! Do you really want there even to be a chance of this happening?" asked the Doctor.

"Yes, I'll take that chance." And with that, he backed through the anomaly with the spear gun still pointed at them. It closed, but there was nothing they could have done.

"What did he have?" asked Danny.

"It's a miniature universe of sorts. It acts as a source of unlimited power. Many would destroy entire planets to get their hands on it," said the Doctor. "I was scanning for it earlier, I knew it ended up here on purpose, it was hidden by a certain trickster many years ago, he left riddles pointing to it, I guess Patrick figured the riddle out before I did."

"Who would want it?" asked Connor. "Aliens?"

"Well, to them **you're **the aliens, but yes, aliens and humans alike."

"We must get back to the present then," said Abby. "Is there anyway to make your time machine work?"

"We either need a artificial black hole, or a power source of ridiculously huge energy output."

"How about an anomaly? Would that work?" asked Connor.

"An anomaly! Yes! You're brilliant! That could quite possibly generate more than enough power to get the TARDIS working again!" exclaimed the Doctor. "But how would we get an anomaly?"

Connor's ADD blinked. "There's an anomaly back near the TARDIS. If we get there quickly enough, we might be able to get it to power the TARDIS. We had better move quickly if we want to get there, however. Some anomalies stay open longer than others."

"Convenient!" Pam said.

"Well then, let's get moving people," said Lester.

The group started the mad dash back to where the TARDIS landed. They began scaling down the mountain began running through the jungle.

"Do you, like, think we'll run into those, like, meat eaters again before we, like, get back to the time machine?" Pam asked Jess.

"I certainly hope not," Jess replied.

They reached the bay and began walking around it, not wanting another encounter with the Mosasaurus. When they reached the other side, they heard some hissing.

"Raptors!" said Becker.

The raptors came out of the foliage and the group ran. Raptors were fast creatures, and they were gaining on them quite quickly. "Run!" yelled the Doctor.

One of the Raptors grabbed Matt by the ankle. He kicked it with his boot in the head, and it backed off. He stood up and kicked it again and the Raptor snarled. It bit him, leaving a bleeding bite mark on his arm. Matt gritted his teeth, kicked it again, and he turned and ran while the creature was still dazed.

The Raptors pursued them, but then suddenly stopped. They listened to something and then one of them screeched. They all retreated into the jungle.

"What happened?" asked Emily.

"It would appear that our Dromaeosaurus friends have been scared off," the Doctor said, seeming anxious.

"Isn't that, like, a good thing?" asked Pam.

"No," he replied. "They were scared off by _something_ _worse_, and most likely_ larger _as well."

A roar was heard over the trees, and a moment later, what looked like massive crocodile burst out. It had a tusk on each side of its jaws, was grey in color, and had huge, sharp teeth. The creature was at least thirty feet long.

"Well, we should run now." said the Doctor.

"Kaprosuchus," said Matt, holding his bitten arm gingerly. "Also known as the boar-crocodile."

"Seriously, you lot should start running!" the Doctor was getting increasingly scared as he said this.

"Well, what do we, like, do?" asked Pam.

"RUN NOW!" said the Doctor.

The group ran toward where the TARDIS was, the Cretaceous predator in pursuit. "Connor, Abby, and Becker, I'll need you to distract the Kaprosuchus," the Doctor ordered.

"It always has to be me, doesn't it?" Connor complained.

"Pam, Emily, Jess, Danny, and Lester, help me push the TARDIS into the anomaly. Matt, sit this one out." the Doctor said. Alex went into the TARDIS.

The Kaprosuchus bounded toward the group. "Hey!" Connor yelled. The boar-croc took notice of him and charged towards him. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," he muttered to himself. He ran off into the jungle with the creature in hot pursuit. He swung around a tree and barely missed the crocodile's jaws. "How's it coming over there?" he asked in the direction of the Doctor.

The Doctor and the others were pushing the TARDIS as hard as they could. The TARDIS was a remarkably heavy thing, so this was not a very easy job.

The Kaprosuchus spun around and charged and Abby, who dove out of the way, allowing the creature to slam into a tree. Becker called out to it, and it began chasing him as well.

The TARDIS gave way and started to move. It was easier to push from this point. The anomaly seemed miles away as they pushed the TARDIS with all of their might.

The Kaprosuchus continued to chase Becker, but then looked over to where the TARDIS was. It realized that it had been taking bait, as there were four people over there that were not trying to evade it. It charged out into the clearing.

"Oh shit," said Becker. "Doctor! Behind you!"

The Doctor spun around and saw the charging boar-crocodile.

"Get out of the way!" The Doctor yelled to the group.

Pam saw the beast and ran for her life, dashing across the clearing as fast as she could.

"Pam, no!" the Doctor called, but it was of no use.

With several long strides, the Kaprosuchus caught up to the fleeing tourist, goring her with one of its tusks. It shook its head vigorously, and she was flung to the ground, still alive, but clutching her abdomen where she had been impaled. The boar-croc spun around. Pam watched in horror as the jaws opened wide and closed over her upper body.

"Keep pushing!" the Doctor told the group.

The rest of the group came and helped to push the TARDIS into the anomaly.

Becker looked over and saw the Kaprosuchus with Pam's body in its mouth. It shook her around for a moment, and then threw its head back, her legs disappearing into its maw. The jaws snapped shut and the beast turned its gaze upon them. "Uh, guys, I think it wants a second helping!" he said.

Lester looked over. "Go, go, go!"

Everybody pushed harder than ever before. The TARDIS moved into the anomaly and absorbed its power. The anomaly was was pulled in as if the TARDIS were a black hole. The console came to life once more. "We have power!" said Lester.

The Kaprosuchus thundered toward them. "Doc, I really think we should get going!" Connor exclaimed. The group dashed into the TARDIS, where the Doctor ran around frantically, pulling levers, pressing buttons, setting dials, and ringing bells. There was a boot involved in there somewhere too. While the Doctor worked, Lester wondered how the tourists figured out how to pilot this complex mass of utter nonsense of a control console.

The boar-croc was bearing down on them. "Go, man, go!" Lester said, panicking.

The Doctor pulled a final lever, and the TARDIS was whisked away through time, mere seconds before the Kaprosuchus arrived at its location and found nothing there. Annoyed, the predator wandered off into the jungle to find its next meal.

Back in London, 2012, the TARDIS arrived near to an entrance to the London Underground. Due to the fact that it appeared to be a police box, not many people took notice of it.

"We need to find Patrick," said Danny.

"Indeed," said the Doctor. "With that portable universe, he should be considered the most dangerous man on Earth!"

Connor checked the ADD. "Hey, an anomaly just opened in a construction site."

"I doubt that will be the one where Patrick is, though," said Danny.

"Not necessarily," said Connor. "True, the anomaly closed after he went through, but what if we arrived before the anomaly opened here?"

Everyone looked at each other. "We had better get over there," said Lester.

"It's only ten blocks from here," said Connor. "We can make it we run."

The ARC team and the Doctor ran down the streets as fast as they could, causing several people to be come confused as to why they were rushing. They eventually made it to the construction site. Everyone was out of breath after running ten blocks at full speed. "Let's just find the bastard already," said Lester.

They entered the site, but no one appeared to be there. "They must have the day off," said Becker.

"The anomaly is on the fifth floor," said Connor.

They walked up five flights of stairs, but as they did so, Connor said, "It just disappeared!"

They raced to the top and found Patrick. He turned around, the spear gun still in his hand.

"Well, that was fast," he said. He took out a little blue orb. "This thing will allow me to open up anomalies anywhere I want to."

"Patrick, you don't know what you're doing!" exclaimed the Doctor.

"You're wrong, Doctor. I know exactly what I'm doing."

"Do you here that?" Connor asked Lester.

"Hear what?"

"I hear something moving. With claws raking across the ground."

"Please, Patrick," the Doctor pleaded. "You could destroy us all."

"No, Doctor, you're wrong. In the hands of a person who knows what he's doing, this is an excellent weapon. In the hands of bumbling idiot, it could cause a disaster."

"Guys!" Connor said, trying to warn them.

Patrick continued anyway. "You think that you know how to control this thing? How to control anomalies? I have spent most of my life traveling through anomalies!"

"I am not ignoring that fact, Patrick. That thing in your hand is a completely different matter!"

"GUYS!" Connor yelled.

There was silence for a moment, but then the clicking of claws on cement was heard and soon the pack of Troodons came up the stairs.

"What are those things still doing here?" asked Lester.

"They never left," replied Matt.

They all ran. They climbed up onto different piles of wooden crates, some too high for the Troodons to get them. Patrick and Danny climbed up on the same one. "I've been waiting far too long for this moment," Patrick said.

He threw a punch at Danny, but Danny dodged it. "I don't want to hurt you," he said.

"Well, I do." said Patrick. He kicked Danny in the solar plexus, causing him to fall down. Patrick prepared to kick Danny off of the crates so that the Troodons could have him, but the Doctor jumped onto the pile of crates and tackled Patrick. This was an unusual thing to do, since The Doctor doesn't normally resort to violence unless absolutely necessary. The orb was of great importance to the Doctor, so he found it as such. Patrick punched him in the face and kicked him off. The Doctor's arms went into windmill motion to prevent himself from falling to the ground.

Patrick said, "You're a lousy fighter, Doctor." He held up the sphere. It was metal of a dull color. It had various markings on it that seemed to indicate haven been created by a race ancient enough for the TARDIS not to translate the writing. "I expected better."

"So did I," said the Doctor. In a swift motion, he grabbed Patrick by the arm, pulled himself back from the brink, grabbed the orb, and then punched him in the face. This was not an easy feat for the Doctor, he was only able to pull this off out of luck. Patrick stumbled backwards, lost his footing, and fell to ground, the impact knocking the breath out of him.

Two Troodons grabbed him by his shoulders and dragged him behind another pile of crates as he thrashed and screamed. More Troodons raced over and went behind the crates. Loud crunching and feeding noises were heard along with Patrick's screams which mercifully ended after the last few Troodons arrived.

Danny woke up. "Patrick!" he exclaimed.

"I'm sorry," said the Doctor. "It's already too late for him."

It wasn't over yet, however. The Troodons finished feeding and began looking around for more prey, blood smeared on their jaws.

The Troodons began trying to leap up on top of the crates. "We have to do something!" exclaimed Danny.

"We can't do anything unless someone opens an anomaly or something so that we can send the Troodons back to their own time," said Lester.

"How about the TARDIS?" asked Matt.

"The Troodons would kill us," the Doctor replied bluntly.

"What about the orb?" asks Connor.

"It just might work!" said the Doctor.

"If I just configure the trans-duodynetic impulse capacitor to overload and temporarily, of course, tear a gap in the fabric of time and create what you lads call an anomaly!"

The Doctor whipped out his sonic screwdriver and started to tinker with the orb frantically. There was an understated "Pop" and an anomaly appeared near the crates.

"What did he just say?" asked Lester.

"No idea. Just go with it," said Danny.

All of a sudden, an anomaly to the Cretaceous appeared. The Troodons saw it, looked back and forth between their home and their prey, and then decided the former was better. The Doctor closed the anomaly as soon as they were gone.

"Thank goodness," said Connor. "What do we do now."

"I have an idea," said Lester.

Ten minutes later, they were walking down the street, heading in the direction of the A.R.C. Lester turned around and said, "Care to join us for tea... Hey where he get off to?"

The Doctor was gone, the wondrous whooshing noise of the TARDIS was heard by the A.R.C team and they knew they might not see the Doctor again.

The T. rex wandered aimlessly around. It had found food, but its belly rumbled and growled. The creature wondered what was giving it such a terrible stomachache, and assumed that it was indigestion. In the belly of the beast, Zim looked frustrated. GIR seemed to be enjoying himself, splashing around in the stomach juices that Zim had found himself in times too many.

"HOW are we supposed to get OUT, GIR!?"

"I dunno."

"GIR! What's in your head right now?"

Gir took out what was in his head.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH HHHHH! IT'S REVOLTING! It's PERFECT."

Gir dropped the object into the gastric acid. The dinosaur looked exponentially worse. _Ugh_, Zim thought._ It was going to be a long night..._


End file.
